day 7 living in the apocalypse

It probably shouldn't keep the space up. You know, I didn't expect to connect pain like, pain to be earlier. It's like, are you alive? Yeah. Sadly. I was really hoping, I really hope that I can stream maybe tonight, if everything stabilizes. If I, if it does it, I have to give up four sponsors. So that's, that's really awful, actually. Actually, you know, this month has been really bad. Probably the worst birthday month I've ever experienced in the past. How many years I've been alive. Yeah. I, you know, I've only used a space like twice. Hold on, I don't even know if I, hold on. What am I looking at right now? I'm fucking tearing up. I can't even see. I don't have my glasses on. I'm just, I don't even know guys. I don't even know what to do. I, I haven't played on my PS Vita. I'm playing Persona 4 Golden again. I have my DS. I mean, I kept telling myself I'd read a book, but then I just get so irritated because it's so hot. And like, I'm reading, and I'm like using my brain to like process the words. And then I don't want to read anymore. At least with like, you know, the games like their voice acted. So I'm kind of just like whatever. I don't know. I feel like, you know, like those like TikToks. Videos where people are like, you get angry when it's hot. I enjoy the heat, but I don't enjoy the heat against my own will, I guess. I don't enjoy the heat against my own will. I guess. I don't know. I really hope the power comes back. There's signs of life again around me. Places are slowly getting power again. It was just, you know, it took seven days, which is ridiculous. But, um, if you guys updated, I'll probably if I'm able to stream. I really hope I can. Um, so my, uh, my neighbor's house has a tree in his living room. When I got home, when I was driving home from work the day the storm happened. Like a street lamp almost fell on me. Honestly, God, like, if I didn't hit the brakes fast enough, I probably would have gotten smashed by that like this light post. Um, all the lights were off. We were driving. I insane road rage. I wasn't called. I went like, you may, ten, you know, Ivy, I barely had connection. I just kept dropping, but I was losing my mind. Guys, people do not know how to do a four way stop. I am the past seven days. Not one person knows how to do it. They're just like, oh, you have to go. People will like turn when it's not their turn. How do we yesterday and the lights are still off? But I was driving over work. And then, you know, because they felt like turning, well, we were going straight. Oh, they're okay. Let me break and let him go in front of me. I don't want to cause an accident. And then he steps in the middle of the road and front to me. I was like, are we, are we? Are we serious? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm going to do my own trip to my day job. Okay. It's normally only 15 minutes. It is now 30 to 40 minutes forward and back. Because of just no power to the stoplights. There's trees everywhere. When I got home, my neighbor's tree in front of my driveway. Peppu, it fucking exploded. I've never seen a tree explode in my life. Like, we have like a bunch of trees that are uprooted. And like in this specific area, like our soil is like sandy. And then also like the specific trees. Because I used to live in the Pacific Northwest. And like the roots of those trees, like what real deep, right? But like for us, like the roots of these specific trees, like deciduous trees are more on surface levels. So that's why like, all these walk ash trees are uprooted. Honestly, I think like. Sorry, I need to brush my teeth. I say this is like keep talking. What about it? Oh, I lost my train of thought. Lost my train of thought. What was I saying? Something about trees. Oh, a couple of months ago, I think I talked to you guys about this, about how the town was asking to cut down my trees because they wanted to fix the sidewalk. And if I didn't get the trees cut down by them for free, and they fixed the sidewalk and it fucked up the sidewalk, I'd have to pay five. So then I was like, yeah, fuck it. Cut my trees down. I don't want to fucking pay. And I feel like, like, I don't know. I think it was like a month or two ago, right? But honestly, I feel like that was a sign. Because my house is the only one with no trees. But everyone else's trees exploded. Tree fell into their fucking living room. Tree crushed their car. So I feel like it was the divine side from somewhere. And I'm really thankful that I called them. And was like, yeah, take my fucking trees, man. I don't fucking want them. And it's in pain in the ass to rake them anyway. And I didn't like it. I did bitch a little bit. You know, after the trees were gone because my, foremost shade for, you know, parking my cars in a driveway disappears. So now my car is extra hot. But you know what? At least it's not in my house. Oh, it's, or crushed my car. So I don't know. It's kind of crazy because it feels like we're living in dystopia. I don't know. It just really feels like, like, like project's on board. I don't know. Other like apocalyptic games, movies, shows. People fighting for gas. Oh, guys, when I had to get gas, holy fuck. You want to, I actually, okay. Okay, don't get mad at me, guys. Please don't get mad at me. I haven't slept a cigarette for five years. Okay. I quit. I asked five years. I went to the gas station so I can get gas. They ran out. I got a dollar in 28 cents of gas. And the guy in the, the, the, the pump next to me. You like came by and he's like, you two? Yeah. I'm going to pull that a cigarette. And I was raining so hard. It was like, it was downpourings. So, uh, yeah. Day three. I have a touch of. Oh, my God. Sorry, guys. I didn't think I'd say crying. Well, I had a feeling. I probably start crying. It's just been so awful. It's so awful, man. Like, really fucks. And I'm trying so hard not to lose hope. Oh, my God. I'm trying so hard not to lose hope. I think like I have hope like the first day. And then I keep watching the tracker. Like I've experienced so many natural disasters. You know, being on the Earth. Sorry, this is like we're having a face time call right now. I'm like, I'm going, I'm going to Lerious, guys. Oh, my God. Like I survived like a blizzard. I survived like two polar vortexes. Okay, that was when my fucking pipes exploded because it was so cold. And we didn't have power or heat and I survived that. But I don't know why this one feels so much worse. Like I don't know why it does, but it just does. I don't know of is because like doing the polar vortex. Like, yeah, my power went out. I found like the whole grid without you know. I was able to go somewhere and this one I've lost so much food. Actually, I think the first couple of days. Just me trying to clean out all the bridges and freezers and cooking as much food as I can. And speeding my neighbors, just feeding anyone I could because at that point, like I had to throw away the food anyway. I'll give it to people that needed to feed themselves. I feel my friends didn't really get hit by the storm. So I've been able to I had to drive like across state lines to charge my stuff. Shower wash my clothes wash my cows. My gym texted this morning saying that they're open again. So maybe I'll go to the gym today. God, this is depressing. Really depressing. And then I teach next week. And honestly, I don't even know if the college rules are going to be open. I mean, they probably will be college. I teach at is not really affected. But I'll have to drive up there. Oh, we got. So I'm kind of just like if I can just get back to normalcy. Like maybe like the weekend before I have to do that. I'd appreciate it. You know, I'd really appreciate it. Oh my god. So yeah, I hope I really hope that everyone else is doing okay. I'm not to do with some terrible people. I still had to work. I still have to work even during this power outage. I hate people. I hate people so much guys. Like people are ready suck. Holy fuck. There's just so much worse when there's a disaster going on. No empathy. I've sense a community. Oh my god. It's like we're all suffering together. You know what I mean? But also I want to say that the situation that we're in is because a lot of stupid people chose to vote the situation we're in for. So those specific people are also the loudestly complaining about everything. But they also voted for this. So I feel no remorse. I just hate that I'm suffering even though I. Oh my rights. What's the point of my rights? Why do I pay taxes? Someone won the power ball lottery. On Wednesday. I couldn't buy a ticket because none of our gas stations and power. So I don't even have a chance to be disappointed. I'm just fully disappointed. Oh, it's not awful. I'm not like I'm going to win anyway, but. The fact that the fucking option was ripped from me. I didn't even get a choice. That's the worth part. Yeah, God. I woke up so early today guys. I woke up at. Well, I barely slept. It's just been so hot. I think the air conditioning goes on and off. Then I haven't slept in days. I just feel like well, I don't have to work today. So that's why I just kind of. I think I'm going to get up. But yeah, maybe I'll clean my house. I guess I need to do that. It was so depressed. And I hate feeling this way. But I don't want to blame myself either because it's like a situation that I never asked to be in. Well, there's a situation no one. Around here has to be in. But you know, I'm not going to be a fucking Netflix deck on the documentary about this. Because this is. I feel like on the same level of when Texas a couple of years ago got that snow McGaton and like their pole power grid fucking died. I don't know if you guys remember this. But I do. Because they're infrastructure. I wasn't set up for snow. And then I think it was like. Like a year ago, the whole situation with like winter. Messing up all like the middle area of the United States like Tennessee, Kentucky. And then also not having power. I don't know man. Oh, I'm pretty proud. Yeah, I got a lot of pressure. I took out my retainers, right? My teeth have definitely shifted, but not in a bad way. I feel it when I brush my teeth. When my canine sticks out now again. I touch it every.